Trying to make it
by sistersydney
Summary: my version of Breaking Dawn. Edward and Bella "trying" to ease there way into the wedding night. Edward hears a voice that warns him of bella's turn. Some fluff, suspense, and a great story so far. send feedback please. be patient, i am very new to this
1. Chapter 1

I left my Edward happy place for a quick second to think about Charlie

04/07/2008 21:14:00

I left my Edward happy place for a quick second to think about Charlie. He truly had been trying lately to be supportive of the wedding, and more so, of his own daughter getting married. He loved Alice doing his fittings, sometimes I think she didn't even need to do alterations, but she wanted to re-assure him that I was marrying into a normal loving family. Little did he know, they didn't sleep, they were all dead and vampires, and that my husband to be had about 90-odd years on me… oh yeah, and I am going to become one of them to be "safe." Thankfully I wouldn't ever have to have that conversation with him, instead I would slowly torture him by becoming more and more distant over time. One day maybe I would visit, but who knows what I might be like, as I wouldn't age, and I know that would raise a few eyebrows around Forks. Many things worried me about leaving Charlie, but more things worried me about staying human and what they ( we weren't talking about the Volturri until after the wedding ) would do to me and my family if they didn't change me. Besides all of that, I wanted to have eternity with Edward. An eternity neither he or I could fathom, but we were up for it… actually we wouldn't really have it any other way.

Even when I wasn't trying I fell into my happy place in my mind with Edward. His skin, smile, touch, and his forever, all were mine regardless of this wedding, I knew that we would always be. As much as Edward thinks sometimes that I haven't experienced enough "human" activity, I think as far as relationships go, I have had my share of love, hurt, anger, passion, loss, ups and downs that many probably wouldn't even believe. I was good with being with Edward, and only Edward, I was better than good actually.

Over the last few months we had worked out some really big issues for both of us, with regards to the marriage and my humanness. First thing was first for him, he loves giving me gifts and sharing all that he has, and that includes money. I know the Cullens have a never ending supply, and so Edward opened my eyes to how that came to be and doesn't really make me feel so terrible about it. Alice's gift has something to do with it, Jasper and Rosalie are usually the ones who invest money in the stock market, with the advice of Alice, and they have been doing very well for quite a few years. They have some long term investments in companies that boomed through the 80's that they could live off easily, but Carlisle continues to invest so that he can always donate money anonymously to hospitals around the world. The family needs to have a certain amount of money in case of emergencies and relocation. If they didn't have the means to buy last minute plane tickets and buy new houses without even thinking of it. Yes, there are times that the cars and the closthes are over the top, but they need something to keep them entertained for eternity and the 24 hours a day that they are awake.

They family really only spends a portion of their money anyway. They hord when they need to but when they are safe they usually gives the rest away. Rosalie and Jasper day trade mostly to pass the time during the day. I gave some of my college fund money to Rosalie and she set me up with my own investment accounts, with me gaining a small portion, with the rest donating to Native tribes in Washington state to improve their school system, something Charlie, Billey, Jacob and the rest of the Que-lettes would appreciate, but never accept from me, the cullens or anyone really.

I felt that if I was going to be a Cullen, I should truly "buy-in." I didn't feel bad using some of that interest if I knew the better portion of these "educated" investments were going to better others. I knew we would need money as well… how long forever was, I knew it would inevitably become expensive to have to move and re-invent ourselves every few years.

I became a little more relaxed with Edwards gifts. He knew not to go over the top, and that I appreciated more thoughtful gifts, and I resisted the car, but if I was going to be a Cullen, I might as well act like it a little bit. At least play up the façade anyway.

Edward still had a little obsession with me experiencing a ton of human experiences before I turn. We had gone to some amazing restaurants over the last month in Seattle and Port Angelas. Edward would sit and watch me eat, laughing while I tried everything new. I tried sushi a few times, and really started to like it. This was something I refused to do living in Pheonix. Why would I ever eat something that has been out of the water for at least 72 hours and people call it fresh?…At least in seattle you can actually look at the ocean where some of it was caught.

We spent the day in seattle with Alice and Jasper one overcast July day. We went to the fish market, and bought some fish for Charlie, as he had hit a bit of a dry spell lately on his weekend fishing trips. The four of us walked through Seattle shopped, talked, and were at total ease. They all tried to not use their intuitive, mind reading, future telling, mood altering skills all day, and just be normal for me. As if I didn't need more convincing, but I think Edward pushed for it to see that we could be "normal." We walked down to Pioneer square where there is a underground tour. Many people think seattle is haunted, and that the fires of seattle were a cause of this. Jasper told us that it was the cause of the fire. There were hunts for vampires and witches and when the burnings took place, not to mention, on innocent people, the fires spread. Alice giggled as Jasper told the story, jaspers cockiness about it was humourous…but I didn't quite see why it was funny that innocent people died and that half of the city almost burned down. Edward explained that Vampires very rarely can be caught by humans, not to mention be tied up and hurt by them. Jasper is just a little modest when it comes to humans trying to hurt us. It keeps up all confident that no one can hurt us… maybe its his defense strategy. If he believes it, he shares it with all of us in troubled times.

No mind reading or vampire stuff, and mostly, no wedding stuff, which was the biggest relief. They all watched me eat, and got to pick things from menus for me… at this pace I wasn't sure I would be fitting into my wedding dress, not to mention get out of it for Edward on our wedding night. The day was a great time, it was a real human fun day, just two young couples spending the day in the city, who drove home excessively fast.

Edward and I had made a commitment to make love once we were married, while I was still human. This was the one thing I really wanted to experience while a human. I thought back to our early days and how difficult it used to be for Edward to even sit next to me, up to the point when he first kissed me. Both of those things were a huge challenge for him initially. He literally could not sit next to me until he practiced and over came it. I thought about how he kisses me now, with ease, he sleeps beside me with ease, so maybe if we worked up to it before, our wedding night and many nights after wouldn't be such a challenge. I told Edward my theory and he hummed and hawed over it, and finally gave in. We would start our experience tonight. Edward and I both agreed that we should have our first night of trying in the safety of other vampires.

"Hi" I said as walking into Edwards room. He was lying on the couch reading a novel he had no doubt read six times over.

"hello my bella" he looked up from his book and smiled. "does charlie think your with alice?"

I nodded and jumped to pounce on him. It wasn't really a lie, I had been doing wedding tasks with Alice all day. I was tired, but ready for some love from this delicious creature.

"what are you reading?" I asked as I snuggled into the nook on his hard cold chest.

"nothing really, I was just looking at the pages to pass the time and.." he paused.

"what?" I sat up looking over him.

"nothing, I am just nervous" and he shrugged.

"nervous about what? We are going to take it slow, and this is a process remember? We are going to work our way into it, bit by bit we are going to get closer and closer."

He nodded and smiled, and looking up at me. "I know you wont hurt me, at least in a way I wont like"

We both laughed and he pulled me back into the nook.

"I am nervous about touching or grabbing you too hard, or even putting the weight of my body on you…I am happy you trust me, and I really think your idea is smart, that I never use to be able to sit beside you, and now I hate it when you arnt sitting beside me…. and" his head looked away.

I ran my fingers through his hair trying to turn his face to mine, "and what edward?"

"what if I am not good at it, at any part at working up to it, or it?"

I had never though that there could be anything he wouldn't be good at, and plus his kissed made me faint, I could only imagine what other physical skills he has… and I had imagined it a few times in my dreams while he was in bed with me.

I could only really shake my head at him. I guess he was as much a virgin as I was, he had only waited a lot longer then I had. I smiled at him.

"I do not think that will be a problem sweety." His insecurity was cute, and a nice change from his nagging about crushing my skull or ripping a limb off. "do you ever… well you know.. on your own?"

he nodded, and I think if could blush he would have. "but that's about me, not about you.. Do you?" He looked at my bright red face.

I admitted that I tried and that my vivid dreams had been wonderful, but didn't really finish the way I think your suppose to. I really loved our honesty these days, we were not holding anything back.

He just nodded and kissed me, lightly, slowly and soft, just enough to get my heart racing.

He pulled away and asked me to tell him how I imagine our wedding night. "Maybe we should start there, get the fantasies out of the way."

"I imagined us there, in your bed," I pointed to the king sized bed covered in amazing sheets and a heavenly gold comforter, that was pretty much meant for Bella sleepover nights. I went on, "with an empty house. No frills, no negligees, just us, as we always had been, as we were always going to be, with something so special that we don't need anything else."

"Our bed" he corrected,

"Music?" He asked

"Perhaps"

"Champagne?" he asked

"I guess it might help me a little… would you like that?"

"Bella, I want this to be about you. I want to give you something that no one else could. Please help me make this perfect for you. I want.."

"Whoa whoa whoa, hold on there mister. Yes this is what I want before I turn, but this is about us. This is something neither of us have done, right?"

He nodded.

"So they why would you want it to be perfect for me, it will be because its with you, now would you stop trying so hard and start practicing so you don't rip my head off with a rage of passion."

We both laughed and fell back into the nook position. He stroked my hair.

"Do you think you will always get mad at me before we have sex?"

I laughed and rolled on top of him.

"Why mister cullen, is it a turn on?"

I kissed him, I kissed him the way I always loved to, the way that made him pull away. I didn't love it because he pulled away, but because for a few split seconds I had the perfect kiss. I couldn't imagine him not being perfect.

After a few minutes of this, he pushed away gently.

"See how good you were and you still pushed away gently." I smiled.

" I didn't push you away because I couldn't handle it, I pushed you away because I wanted to move to the bed"

"Good for you Edward, doing something YOU want"

he lightly tossed me on the bed, and I bounced when I landed. I didn't realize how soft this mattress was. I guess sleeping on a ice rock chest for 2 years didn't help.

I haven't seen much of Edwards body, actually he was kind of a prude. Always changed in private, never loosend his collar too much when coming to sleep with me. I suppose I somewhat followed suite. My pajama's were far from revealing, and sadly I think he expected sweats and a t-shirt.

I lifted my shirt off. I had a white tank top underneath, but Edwards eyes widend as I took it off. My tank top had a built in shelf bra. I didn't have much to hold up or in for that matter, so I didn't see the point in wearing a bra when it was hot out and when I had this tank top on. Plus, I did like the little cleavage it gave me.

"Edward, we have never really been that exposing to each other with regards to our bodies. We have been an open book with all other areas, but not our bodies. When I touch your body, I want more, and I want to see a little more and I want you to see a little more of mine"

Again, he nodded smiling.

"what if I want to see more than a little of yours?" he asked

"well, we'll have to see about that. But we are going to be married, and I hope that one day we can change in front of each other and not have it be a big deal, shower together and have a chat, and just be… I am not saying I want to be exobishionists but I want that comfort with you, no matter what I look like. I know I will look better once you turn me, but for now, this is it."

I stood up off the bed and pulled down my shorts to reveal the boy shorts I had on as underwear. They covered enough and showed just enough, and were really comfortable and had become my favorite style over the years. Wow, I was being bold with the trying thing. " Am I being too much? Did you want to do this?" I had tried to take off my shirt once before and he stopped me.

"no, this bossy Bella, is nice, and I agree. But I cant promise that I will just be able to shower with you and have a chat, or not want to jump you when you take off your clothes like that. That being said, I do want to undress you, but I am not complaining that you took yours off yourself."

Come here, he gestured as he sat on the other side of the bed. He leaned his back up against the headboard and wanted me to sit beside him.

I was wrong, once I sat next to him; he pulled me on top of him. I was sitting on his thighs, almost straddling him, but my knees were up and together and my feet were beside his thighs.

"Come here then" he said

he leaned forward and kissed me, he pulled me forward and touched my legs. He rubbed his soft cold hands up and down my thighs following them were goose bumps on my skin and my heart racing faster in my chest. I was getting better at remembering to breath when we kissed, but he still made my heart race with the briefest touch and kiss. He pulled away and looked down at his black collared shirt. It was almost like a western style shirt, and it had subtle embroidery. He gestured down at his shirt with his eyes instructing me to unbutton it.

"I guess I am doing all of the undressing tonight"

"ill get my turn" he smiled back with his irresistible half mouth smirk.

"Music?" He asked.

I nodded, although at this point I didn't care, or need it.

He grabbed the remote from his bedside table and turned on a CD. I often thought why everything was so smooth for him. How would he have the right music in his CD player and how did he turn it on so quickly that I didn't even notice the remote back in the exact same place it was? Mazzy star began, fade into you was a song I had heard once while driving with Edward and I loved it, but didn't mention it because I was concentrating on the road too much.

I kissed him, I kissed him again I broked away for a second "how did you know I liked this.?"

" I heard your heart race a little when I have played it. I am making a CD for our wedding night and honeymoon. You said you didn't want anything different or weird, so if we sample it tonight, it wont be."

I looked into his eyes. He knew that I resisted gifts and romance, but his way of it was so perfect. He was learning to not be flashy, and take it down a notch for his human fiancé. Just be Bella and Edward, and it was time for that. I began to unbutton his shirt. I had felt his chest a thousand times above layers of clothing, and had caught glimpses and feels of it under his shirt during the night, but to see him sitting this way as I fully opened his shirt was unbelievable. He was paler than your average Forks teenager, but he was far more developed also. He was so muscular; I really didn't realize how amazing he looked.

"what have you been hiding from me?"

"I could say the same thing"

we kissed and I pulled into him closer and tighter. He breathed in my hair and kissed my shoulder, pushing the strap down. More goosebumps, heart faster beats. He pulled forward to slide his shirt off his arms. He wrapped them around me and flipped me over to be on top of me. My hair was everywhere, if Edward was the one being flipped over, he would look like nothing happened, and here I was with my hair in my face embarrassed. I was blushing when he and I finally cleared my hair away. He smiled softly and kissed my forehead, my nose, my chin, both of my ears and then he looked at me in the most intent way he could. His legs lay between mine. I wrapped my feet around his and he began rubbing his feet on mine. He kissed me, in that way that made me think he was going to pull away, but again, he didn't. the songs must have changed 2, maybe 3 times when I decided to try to start touching his body. My hands were gripped on to his biceps, I slowly wrapped my arms and legs around his strong body.

"bella" he whispered in my ear.

I pulled my head back to check that he was ok, and he dove his kiss into me deeper than before. His kisses were a little faster and harder, but I still felt safe and passionate. Harm or fear was no where insight. His hand went down to my stomach where my tank top hand already raised with the shifting and movements. Our skin touching like this was magnificent. It was chilling and warm at the same time. He looked up at me for approval and I smiled. He continued up my shirt grazing the base of my breast. His thumb continued between the crease, and his handing cupping my whole breast. I couldn't have imagined how much this turned me on. I lifted my hips into him and felt what I knew was there, but much more aware of the situation. Edwards body returned the soft pressure of his obvious manhood. I put my face into his neck and chest and breathed him in. his scent was amazing and more erotic than before. I began kissing him, moving my hands on his chiseled chest, and up to his face. I held his face in my hands and he opened his eyes at me.

" are you ok?" I asked in a whisper.

"yes" he mouthed and nodded. He almost seemed shy and timid. "you are so amazing, your body…everything… what if I cant stop?"

I smilled and returned to kissing him.

"I love you bella, I will always be with you, I will never leave you"

"I know Edward, I will never let you leave me." I smiled at him. I know how much he suffered seeing and hearing of how he hurt me in the previous year.

"Bella, I want to show you how much I love you. I want you to feel me inside of you. I want to give you everything you have ever desired."

" I think you are doing a good job so far. But do you need a break?"

"bella, I am a vampire, we don't get tired." He smirked at me.

He put his head into my neck and began pushing his harder than usual manhood into me pushing on my underwear, but in the right places. How could he ever think he wouldn't be good at this? He slowly removed my shirt over my head and kept it at my elbows to keep my arms above my head. He began kissing all over my body. He lowered himself so that his face would be at my stomach. He slowly kissed my torso and raised his face to kiss my breast and then suck on my nipple. Both of his hands were clutching my breasts as his mouth devoured my chest. I was breathless. I pulled my arms out of my shirt and brought my hands to his head. I wrapped my fingers in his hair and I pulled not being able to control this feeling. I was laying on my husband-to-be's bed, almost naked with a freezing cold man, but I have never felt warmer. He kept rubbing, sucking and kissing my chest, as though he was devouring me, and I was more than ok with this.

His hands slip down my sides. To the underside of my behind and up the backside of my legs and then down the sides and fronts of my legs. He was kneeling between my legs and he paused and looked down at me locking eyes with me. "I love you" he gasped. His hands climbed back up to my chest, neck and then to my face.

He held my head as he returned to my mouth with those passionate kisses. He finally pulled away and breathed out a soft slow deep breath. He half rolled off of me keeping one arm on me and leg across me. He left his head on my chest kissing me softly still. He was drawing on my stomach with his fingers and I played with his hair.

"are you ok?" I asked after a few minutes, it could have been hours, and I was so peaceful and happier then I had ever been.

"I have never been better" he whispered in between soft kisses on my shoulder.

"are you sure you cant read my mind?"

He laughed softly. "bella, was I to aggressive or did I move too fast?"

"no Edward, you were the one who stopped, and I am happy you did or else I wouldn't have. But I did want…" I trailed off I could feel my face burning up.

"What? Bella, tell me." his velvet voice was comforting and concerned.

"I just,… I wanted to touch you more, feel you. I have never touched you like that before, and you me, and I never wanted that to stop."

"I think that can be arranged once you are a Cullen"

I wasn't sure if he meant a vampire or until we were married. "what will it be like once I am changed? Will this not be a problem at all, is it better, or worse, or rougher or…?"

He grinned. " I like you being so forward with your questions. But I honestly don't know, I have never done this as a human or a vampire. Unfortunately I have heard all of my family think about it. I think it can be rougher, but it is definitely still intimate and loving. Just without the risk of permanently hurting each other. Do you really want to hear this? Because I didn't like hearing it?"

"Yes tell me." I bounced and sat up, kind of excited. Not really realizing for a few seconds that I didn't have a shirt on. "Oh, can I have my shirt please, I think you are laying on it?"

"ok I will tell you but I am still thinking about if you can have your shirt back. You are honestly the sexiest being I have ever been around and you have no idea."

I smiled and reached around him for my shirt. "no no bella, you said you wanted to be able to be comfortable with me, change in front of me, so you are staying as you are." As if I could have beaten him to my shirt anyway. I knew he was right, and I wanted to be comfortable, so I snuggled into his nook.

Chapter 2

I was laying on my side with my chest down with my head and arm across Edwards bare chest. He rubbed my back and up my sides, which increased that feeling between my legs and gave me goose bumps through my whole body. I shivered a little, and Edward grabbed a blanket with his spare hand. I wrapped my leg around him which somewhat helped my yet to be really satisfied self. We snuggled in and he went on to tell me about what he has heard.

"ok bella, as I tell you this, I am kind of disgusted, but I will tell you because you asked. Jasper and Alice are private. I would never know the way they are if I couldn't hear there thoughts. There love is so deep. They need each other in many ways. They balance each other in a way I didn't really understand until I met you. They can have sex whenever they want, however they want. They would never hurt each other, but when they are alone, sometimes they just lay together touching and I think they both feel it to be the most intimate way they are together. Their love making is more passionate and loving. They think about it and yearn for it like you or I, but they need to have contact with each other more then they need the sexual release. But when she gets spunky in her thoughts, I shut her out. I cant handle that."

Rosalie and Emmett are much different. They are both somewhat vain, so they like being naked and one up-ing each other. They are both a little selfish and make their sex about themselves and their own pleasure and don't take a lot of regard for the other. This is what works for them, they are both that way, so neither one of them complains. That being said they love one another very deeply, but their love is very physical, and you could say they are more rough then say alice and jasper. They like being alone, but don't really care if they disturb others in the house." I didn't ask and I didn't expect him to tell me about Carlisle and Esme, as I wouldn't want to think about Charlie and Renee 20 years ago or now for that matter.

After a few moments of silence Edward went on, "Bella, for the last 2 years I have thought about you sexually many many times, but I am so satisfied just lying beside you."

I playfully rolled on top of him again, this time straddling him holding my chest. " do you think we will find our own way?" I smirked at him. I lay my head on his chest, and felt him laugh beneath me. I kissed his chest and slid off to the side again.

"bella, I think that if it was anything like earlier, I will want you everyday in whatever way I can have you. Rough, gentle, or just sleeping, or laying together." He paused. "do you think you are going to miss sleeping? I wish sometimes I could sleep and not because of fatigue, but because sometimes I just want to get away. Your vivid dreams haven't helped my envy of that either."

"My dreams are not always happy Edward. But whenever I wake up and you are there, the bad ones dont matter. As long as you tell me that you will be with me, I don't really care if I can sleep or not…. Especially if this clothing optional thing sticks around"

"I love you bella, have I told you that enough today? I am so happy you opened up to me and got on the bossy side."

"do you think this helped you? Did you feel like you were going to loose control in a non-sexual way?" I asked

"When you arched and moaned and pushed into me, I didn't think I would be able to stop. All I wanted to do was pleasure you…. And me, and I think I was doing ok at that."

My face went hot again. I could feel myself blush, and the CD ended. I didn't even notice the other songs.

"I was ok though Bella, I think you were right that we need to ease ourselves into this and we'll be ok. Do you think I should ask Alice if she can see it going ok?"

"You are not serious. She probably already knows we have made the decision to wait until we are married."

"I wonder if she saw me not wanting to about 20 minutes ago?"

"Edward! then why did you stop?" I was drawing my fingers across his abdomen.

"virtue my love. And I think we can try a little further tomorrow."

Chapter 3

I woke up in Edwards soft bed with my hard man beside me. I rolled over to snuggle into his arm and bare chest. Neither one of us re-clothed what we had lost last night. I was so nice to wake up to this chiseled body. I still didn't have my shirt back, but I was covered with the comforter. I almost felt like I was intoxicated last night. I was bold and forward and I think Edward liked it… and I knew I did.

I said as I stretched out and yawned a little. I didn't mention how amazing he looked slightly sitting up. His muscles were defined without him flexing or doing anything. He truly was a beautiful.

Edward looked at me and smiled. "good morning bell"

He quickly flipped up the blanket and rolled on top of me before overly exposing me. He kissed my forehead and his cold body lay on top of me. I really noticed the muscles I hadn't been truly privy to before last night. His back flank widened as he rolled on top of me and raised his arms to support himself on top of me. I ran my fingers down his back it subtly feeling his cold hard flesh. I was excited again instantly.

"is this what you meant last night? Being able to just be and not worry about clothing or not?" he leaned down to whisper in my ear. Following it up with a gentle kiss on my neck.

I smiled, worrying about my morning breath, which he had never mentioned in the past, but I always thought he was too much of a gentleman, or he couldn't smell it.

I nodded, " I am enjoying you and the viewing of more of your body." I said back into his ear.

"is that so?" he said sarcastically. " do you like me like this?" he pulled out the classic Cullen half smirk and I instantly wrapped my arms and legs around him. It was more of a cuddle then a sexual move, but I could feel Edward was as excited about this was I was. We both giggled into each others necks.

He pulled back after a little lovers giggle. "What are you wanting to do today?"

"urg, I am sure Alice has more wedding shenanigans for me. I don't know why I have to go over every detail with her. It isn't like we are having a big extravagant wedding. And I like all of her decisions anyway." I squirmed away a little bit being frustrated by the thought. I lay on my side looking at Edward resting his head on his arm.

"Well then take the day off. What is really left to do?"

"oh, let me get out my checklist… bla…" I spat in sarcasm. "don't ask me, its not like I have done this before… you?" Edward laughed. I knew the wedding made him happy, but I don't think he knew what he had signed up for. He wanted to be married, and so did I after much restraint. But I still didn't want the big wedding.

"I better get up. I don't have any clothes here and I don't know if shorts are going to cut it today."

"wanna bet?"

"did you leave me last night and go to my house?"

Edward shook his head and pointed to the closet.

I rolled out of bed, holding my arms against my chest as I walked across the room to the closet that took up one whole wall floor to ceiling. I could feel his eyes on my bum, and I liked it.

"whats in here?" aside from your amazing wardrobe, I thought it my mind. I opened up the closet and found a bureau that I hadn't really noticed before. I turned back at Edward and he smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

"Edward Cullen…" honestly what had he done now? I opened the top drawer and it had underwear and socks. It looked like my stuff, but it wasn't. but it was pretty close. Some boy shorts, some cotton, some not. And a few things I didn't recognize, but I was too embarrassed to mention. Honeymoon perhaps…?

I changed the subject in my mind to my words, "are you sure you didn't go to my house at all this week for my stuff?" I turned to ask him.

Edward shook his head again smirking a little bit this time, he was sitting up in bed now.

The next drawer had pajama pants, boxers, sweatpants, a t-shirt and a sweatshirt. They were similar to mine, but these I was certain they were not mine.

"Edward, what is going on? Honestly?" I protested.

"I spend a lot of time in your room while you sleep. I know what you like and what you wear. The last time you and Alice went summer clothes shopping and you bough a few shorts and things with your own money, I asked her to get you a second pair so that you could have some things here. And I picked up a few essentials that you wear a lot…. Just like how you want it to be normal and comfortable and mindless, I want you to feel like part of this house is your home, and easy for you. If you are cold you have a sweater upstairs. At least until after the wedding when we will live together…." He paused and waited for my reaction. But continued on, "Most of it is really similar so Charlie doesn't get suspicious when you come home in different clothes all the time, but comfortable and convenient for you."

I went down the drawers and found a few new tanks and shorts, just like the ones I had gotten in early july with Alice, I was being hopeful for a nice summer. The next drawer had a rain jacket, runners, flip flops and jeans. Edward had pretty much doubled my summer wardrobe and Pajama attire.

"Thank you," I smiled at him and just let him do this for me. It was very nice and thoughtful and he had met me in the middle. Not going over the top, and looked at it from a convenience standpoint, or at least that was the angle he was playing. "it is a bit much, but I do appreciate it. Thank you" I struggled to get it out again. "you are too much, but I love you. I am going to have some human time in the bathroom."

He nodded and smiled with victory.

I went into the bathroom to find a hair brush, toothpaste and a toothbrush exactly like the one I have at home and my shampoo and conditioner sitting on the shower shelf. I went back into the room, where Edward was getting out of bed, but still without half his clothing.  
"are you sure you didn't go to my house? Even for my toothbrush?"

"No, I got that yesterday at the drug store when I knew you were sleeping over. You do need it from time to time. The hair products were all Esme." My face was bright red but I smiled again.

" hey, would you put some clothes on, it is just pitiful to look at you like that." I said turning my back back towards the bathroom.

"right back at cha miss swan"

we both laughed as I closed the door, I still didn't have a shirt on and I barely noticed…. And I was wondering if he did. This closeness was amazing. Everyday we get better and closer. I couldn't wait for forever. I jumped in the shower smelling my armpits wondering if I stunk after getting hot last night, but it wasn't too bad. I pulled my head back and let the high-pressure hot water run down my head and drench my body.

Chapter 4

I bounched down the stairs carefully holding on to the railing. I was extra careful to avoid clumsiness since my birthday last year. I had put on another shelf bra tank top, as there were no bras for me, and I think Edward liked what he saw last night. I put on a navy long-sleeved thermal shirt that had buttons half way down the front and surprisingly feminine. I left the buttons open a little, as I was covered by the white tank underneath. I put on khaki shorts. It felt like rain, but it was muggy and warm out.

Edward was reading the seattle times sitting at the kitchen table that Carlisle has stitched me up on last year. Edward lifted his head, "all fresh?"

"yup" I nodded. My hair was still a little damp, but I was starving.

" Esme got some food yesteryday, what do you feel like?."

"she didn't have to do that, I could have gone home"

"She wants you to feel comfortable here as well. Besides she used to buy food before you came around anyway. Don't you think the mother of 4 teenagers should keep up with the food consumption façade?"

"Ok. Do you know where she is so I can thank her?"

I turned and went for the Vanilla yogurt and granola. It was a nice change from cereal at Charlie's.

"Morning Darling" Esme walked into the kitchen wearing a casual three quarter length dress. She came over to kiss my fore head, and then continued to do the same to Edward. He smiled at her and touched her arm as she did so. "Do you want some fruit with that sweety?"

" no no, this is just great. thank you for the breakfast, and for everything else you have stocked the fridge with on my behalf." She was so loving, everything about her exuded her warmth.

"It was my pleasure sweetheart. Please let me know if there is anything you prefer. Edward said you eat almost everything, but if there are things you really like, I can pick them up." She smiled at me with my mouthful of the delicious yogurt. "What's on the agenda for today?" she asked.

"I assume Alice has something planned, but I haven't seen her yet. Do you know where she is?" now that I thought about it, the house was particularly quiet.

" She and Jasper went out already this morning. I think she thought you two had something planned."

I turned and looked at Edward as he smirked and sheepishly shrugged his shoulders.

"what are we doing today Edward Cullen? What do you have up your sleeve?"

"eat up Bella, I'll tell you when your done your breakfast" I munched down my granola wondering what my gorgeous perfect creature had planned for me today, Edward casually went back to the paper half crooked smile in tact.

Edward had gone upstairs while I sat and flipped channels in the main family room of the house. He came back down wearing jeans and a white t-shirt. It was truly amazing how a simple t-shirt looked breathtaking on him. Especially after last nights preview, I knew how lucky I was. Edward was holding my new raincoat and runners for me.

"Where are we going"

"I thought it would be a nice day for the meadow"

I smiled and my insides were warm with the thought of the meadow. Edward and I had some wonderful times there. Although I had seen Laurent there last year, that didn't take away from how wonderful it was for Edward and I.

"you up for some more trying today?" Edward smirked and walked past me out the door holding my jacket and slightly jogging for my car. For being a my fiancé, he seemed to be flirting with me, like as if it was something I couldn't get out of him. I slipped on my new adidas trail runners and ran after him. I almost tripped, but caught myself.

" I guess that's why I should always hold your hand eh?"

"you should have learned your lesson by now."

We giggled as he opened the door for me. It felt like we were normal teenagers in love, having a summer of love. It was so nice to escape like this. Edward reversed my mercedes diplomat vehicle out of the driveway, and onwards down the one-oh-one.

"In one of our lives we should be a young married couple on our own, don't you think?"

we talked about our future in segments. We could really only stay in certain places for so long, so we referred to them as "lives."

"that would be nice, not to have to act as thought we are 17, or 18 on your behalf forever."

"do you think we could pull it off?" I asked. I loved thinking about our future together.

" well I have done university a few times and no one ever really questioned 23, but I don't know if we could go beyond that. But honestly we could do whatever you want, we will have the time."

Before I knew it we were pulling off beside the road.

"jump on" Edward turned his back to me. I loved it when he ran, I was going to miss this. It use to make me nauseous, but recently I had learned to love it.

"can I still do this when I am one of you? I will miss this dearly"

"oh course you can, you can even carry me if you want" he said tunring his towards me on his back. He wasn't watching where he was going, and he still didn't fall. I would be intently watching and I would still fall. He was gradually becoming more comfortable and accepting the inevitable of my joining his immortal vampire family more officially than our marriage this weekend.

The air was warm and muggy, but it smelled like rain. This was a new skill I had developed since moving to Washington. I remember hearing someone say it in my early days of arriving in Forks and I thought they should be institutionalized, but ever since I had become a true pacific northwestern local, it was true, you can smell rain coming.

There we were in our meadow. The first place Edward and I truly bonded. There was no sun today to let my marble man twinkle in the sunlight, but I wasn't bothered.

"ill miss this place when we leave Forks." I thought in my mind, and the words just fell out of my mouth. This was something I was working on, but this seemed like a harmless enough statement.

"we don't have to leave you know"

"how do you figure?"

"well we can stay here for a few more years"

"This departure was going to be inevitable, I was either going to college away or, option b, which has already been decided, I am going to truly join your family. I am much happier with the latter." Edward tilted his head and opened his mouth to say something but didn't. he knew this battle had been fought and a victor had been named.

"I will get in my fair share of human activities before hand, and I figure I will have plenty of time to re-live some of them, I just wont be human. Maybe ill re-do prom in another town and actually enjoy it…. Crazier things have happened."

He was laughed. " you, like prom, or some other formality? I would love to see the day."

"Well, you just might mister"

I walked over to Edward and wrapped my arms around his neck. I was standing on my tippy toes. I just loved our height difference. My head went right on his chest when we stood side-by-side, and he was just tall enough to have to pick me up to bring our faces together. As if I didn't feel like I was floating enough when I kissed him.

Edward lowered his face to my ear, " I love you bella, whatever you want, at any time, I will do."

Edward pulled away and took off his lightweight wind breaker and layed it on the ground. He quickly picked me up and lay me down softly on the jacket. His white t-shirt was loose, but it still revealed his stone-like muscles. Edward lowered himself to his kneel between my legs. He looked at me and smiled. "what were you saying last night about clothing optional?"

Before I knew it he took off his shirt and lay on top of me, looked me in the eyes and kissed me with his eyes still glued to mine. His kisses were soft and slow, he pulled his head back between each kiss locking eyes with me the entire time. He lifted me up to remove my jacket. I was really only wearing it because I didn't want to carry it. It certainly wasn't needed with the warmth and lack of rain so far today. Edwards eyes left mine as he lowered himself to kiss my chest and neck. He unbuttoned another few of the buttons on my thermal shirt. He obviously wasn't going to get where he wanted to by doing that so he lowered his hands to my sides, sliding up my shirt. He devoured into kissing my stomach, making me shake inside, almost as though I was shivering from cold, but I didn't have a chill. He removed my long sleeved shirt and slid his ice cold hands down my arms, sliding my straps down to kiss my shoulders. I lay my head back to enjoy him devouring my body with kisses.

"your very nice to your amateur lover" he whispered in my ear, continuing to kiss down my neck.

I tiled and raised my head and looked at him question.

"no bra again, you make it so easy" he responded to my expression. I lay my head back down smiling. His kissing was no faster and more passionate. He began to lightly push himself into me. I responded by lightly pushing my pelvis back up at his hardened centre.

"oh bella"

"ummm" I could barely hold back my moans as he continued to touch me and push into me with slightly more force at a slow pace. I wrapped my legs around him and he lowered his hands to rub his hands from my knees down the side of my thighs. This excited me more, and I couldn't keep my hands off of him.

"Edward" I gasped. Before I knew it he was holding my face, his eyes locked on mine.

"oh bella…. I love you" he seemed almost out of breath with his urges to take this further. He lowered one of his hands down to my breast. Grabbing it out side of my tank-top. He lowered his face to it, and pulled down my tank to expose both of my breasts. He went back and forth from touching, kissing and sucking both of them. I didn't want to interrupt his visit to my chest but I wanted to kiss him, to touch his body, all of his body. I raised him up and as I did, he pulled my shirt over my head. There I was half naked in our meadow, and I wasn't even blushing with embarrassment. I was his, I wanted him to see me, and I knew I wanted to see him. I kissed him with no hold backs and pulled him in closer to me.

I slip my hands down his back and slid my hands down the back of his jeans. I was between his boxers and jeans, but I could definitely feel his sculpted strong back side. Again, I pulled him in towards me. i tried to slid my hand around to the front of his body and he lifted his body slightly granting me access. He locked eyes with me and seemed to be enjoying the exploring I was doing. I came around to feel what had been pushing into me. like most of his body it was hard, and felt strong, and throbbed with my touch. As I rubbed his erection I felt his size and could not believe what I was going to have to deal with on my wedding night. I smiled at his pleasure filled face. I pulled my hand out, as I had the feeling he might protest to me going underneath his boxers, although I could not wait to see his fully naked body on top of me in a few short nights.

Edward lowered his hand down my chest and didn't stop at my breasts, his hands continues down to my shorts. He lighly placed his hand cupping my crotch, and waited for a little approval. I slightly raised my hips and he began to rub me up and down. All the while he head nuzzled in my neck softly kissing my shoulder up to my ear lobe. He pulled his hand down my thigh to touch my bare skin, but returned it to my centre. I longed for him like I never had. He had never stimulated me more than he had in that moment, yet I knew there was much more to come. He was responding to my pants of breath and pulsing hips. Edward then did something I did not expect. Undid my shorts and slid his hand down my shorts and under my underwear, back to my hot centre. I could feel that I was wet with desire. He rubbed me again, looking back at my face where I was clearly loving every second, although I was too out of breath to smile. I grabbed him and kissed him and pulled him in closer to me. he slowly slid his index finger inside of me. he put his face into my neck and paused. Frozen, no breaths, frozen. I didn't want to say anything, so I lay still for a few moments. He began kissing my neck and face and again and continued with all other movements as well. As he went on my back arched with pleasure as he slid it back out with ease. His middle finger joined, this hurt a little more, but with the slight pain came pleasure. He began to slide them in and out gently and slowly. Edward was slightly thrusting my side and he half lay on top of me.

" I don't want you to stop" I panted in his ear as I grabbed him tighter. I didn't know if that was ok to say, but it just came out.

" I don't know if I can stop Bella." His words excited me for the day that we wouldn't stop, and that he overcame his moment of temptation or whatever.

He pulled his fingers in and out of me and slid them up to graze my clitoris, my little centre of nerves that was on stimulation overload. I moaned and he slid his fingers back inside of me. I pulled on his firm cold skin. My breaths were getting shorter and shorter. "Edward, please…" I gasped

"Please what bella?" he seductively said in my ear.

"don't stop." He knew that was what I wanted and continued his routine of entering me in and out and then sliding up to my clitoris ad my squeezing my butt muscles to raise myself slightly, something I didn't automatically, not having to think about how much I was enjoying this. He continued on for a few moments when I felt a roll of warmth come through my stomach and down to my centre. Rolling muscles contractions were taking over my insides and craving for more. Edward rubbed his hands a little faster responding to my squiring muscle contractions. This then brought on something I had never thought possible. My eyes squeezed shut and the waves of muscle contractions I was trying to fight it, but suddenly it released into pulsations of pleasure.

"oh god" I whimpered. My knees bent and back arched falling my head back to the ground. I gasped for air. I was shaking slightly inside as Edward slid out from inside of me. I finally opened my eyes to Edward kissing my neck and face, running his hands down my head.

My face went red and I felt embarrassed. I didn't say anything; I just rolled by body onto my side to lye into Edward's chest. With my arms against my chest, nuzzled into him.

His body felt cool which was a nice change to how hot I was. I shivered a few times and not from his cold body, but from reeling from what I just experienced. We lay in silence as I came back down to earth.

"sweet bella, sweet sweet bella." He kissed my head and rubbed his fingers down my side.

"im sorry" I said. I didn't really know what to say.

"ha, why would you ever be sorry for that?"

" I just didn't expect it, but I couldn't control it and what I said, and you didn't get to feel that way and I didn't want you to think that I was being selfish."

"you were no where near selfish, and if you think that was selfish, you can be anytime"

"You didn't mind? And you were ok, I didn't even check on you, I'm sorry" my voice was starting to sound normal again from being out of breath and dry.

"Bella, I enjoyed that almost as much as I think you did. I had to re-focus a few times, but I was ok. I was so focused on you that I was fine. I want to please you, and I am sorry if I didn't ask permission to do that, but… " he trailed off.

"But what Edward?"

" you seemed to like it and your heart was racing and I went with my instincts, and I just hope it was ok. I just want to please you as much as I can before we can truly be together. You are just so damn sexy and you look so amazing without your clothes on, that was partially why I stopped, I was overwhelmed."

"not so bad yourself" I said as I held him in around the waist. "thank you, thank you for that, it was beyond what I could have imagined that being like. did I do ok? Did I touch you the way you like to be touched?" I spoke into his body, too ashamed to look him in the face yet.

"bella, yes….yes." He kind of laughed a little. "did you really come for me?"

I nodded into his chest. I could feel him smiling, even though I couldnt see his face. I was smiling too.

After re assembling ourselves, we walked in silence together holding hands at normal human pace. My stomach rumbled which I am assuming what prompted Edward to fling me onto his back. You would think I would be used to his grace by now, but I was still blown away. I wrapped my body extra tight around him feeling closer to him than I had before. I didn't know that it could be possible, and we still had a ways to go with this little thing we were calling forever. I smiled into he shoulder loving him and the wind in my face. We got back to the forests edge and it began to rain. Edward had his jacket around his waist and the rain droplets began wetting his white t-shirt. The rain began to dump down by the time we got to the car and Edwards shirt clung to his muscles. Who even knew there were so many muscles to be had?

He opened the door for me, both of us still smiling. We drove and I was more relaxed with his speed than normal.

"what are you thinking about bell? I don't know if ill get over not being able to read you."

" don't you think its good that you cant read your partner's mind? Would you really want to know what I am thinking all the time?"

"I suppose you are right, but I wish I could have the option to turn it on sometimes."

"ha, wouldn't that be nice for you?" I giggled thinking about it. "when would it be convenient for you to listen to my head?" I was smiling waiting for his reposnse.

He smirked thinking out his response " well, I guess it would be nice when I think you are upset or frustrated. But then again, you do usually wear your heart on your sleeve when you're all fiery. I guess when you are trying to rationalize with me, and you cant get out the words you want, I think it would be easier for you if I could hear your thoughts."

"don't spin this one on me" I joked.

" I suppose it would be helpful in the bedroom. And when we are silent and I just want to hear you. Especially when you sleep though, that is when I wish it the most. I have 7 or 8 or 11 hours to just sit there watch you sleep. And I enjoy every second of it, but I wish I could see into some of your vivid dreams. Maybe make a few come true."

" I think you just did sweetheart. And as far as reading my mind in the bedroom, I felt like you were. Edward sometimes, you don't give yourself enough credit. You have been amazing to me, and you cant read my thoughts. Part of what I love the most is that you excite me, you make me want more and you let me be me. if you knew everything I wanted, thought, and whatever, I don't think it would be as raw and true as it is now. Do you know what I mean?" sometimes he was insecure vampire, and I preferred normal, slightly cocky vampire.

" I know what you mean. Initially it made me very curious about you, I wanted to get inside of your head. The more questions I asked, the more I loved and had to know. Did I really do ok back there? You know I just want to please you."

I rolled my eyes. " are you insecure because you are naturally good at everything and this is the unknown? Because it is as much for me the unknown and I am mostly bad at active based… um activities. I should be asking you if I am doing ok?"

"bella, your touch is soft and strong and your voice and responses to me make me so turned on. I am surprised you haven't noticed some nights at your house. I have felt quite uncomfortable sometimes as to how turned on I get with just laying beside you."

" really, I am oblivious, too bad for me, we could have started this practicing long ago" I laughed. "well you do sleep beside me, you know the dreams I have about you."

"And I am going to make them come true."

"How cliché Edward."

Chapter change

We were back at the Cullens by 3. Alice and Jasper weren't back yet.

" I am going to get Emmett to check your car quickly, and I think he is tge garage."

"what its brand new? You want to check that it's still tank proof?" I joked

"Bella, new cars need to be checked, and I think that's the first time your car had been driven fast, intentionally anyway, I have seen you skid out accidentally and I don't know if that is good for it either"

"Fine, ill be inside." I stuck my tounge out at him. He smiled back.

"esme?" I called as I walked into the house.

" in here darling" esme called from the kitchen. " hi sweetheart. How was your day?"

"it was great" thankfully she couldn't read my mind either. But honestly even if she did know what we were up to, I think she would just want us to be safe, it was clear we were happy.

"it was really nice to just be us for a little while, no wedding, no you-know-who talk, no changing talk, just us. Edward relaxed a little and we just enjoyed." I wasn't normally this forthcoming with people, especially a parental figure, but Esme was so different. He warmth opened up my floodgates.

"That is so great. I think all couples need to get away sometimes, even for a few hours just to reconnect with how busy life gets. Even if its not busy for people like me who are awake 24 hours a day and have the time, it is still great to just focus yourself on yourself and your partner. Charlisle and I don't do it often enough, but we ought to soon." She smiled back at me and paused with her thoughts. "That's it, ill book some time with him before your wedding." I nodded. She was so cute. "thank you bella, you reminded me what I needed…. Oh Bella, I didn't mean it in the physical sense. I do know that is important to connect, but that wasn't what I meant. Oh shute, sweety, don't think that's what I meant." She laughed to herself.

"oh no no no Esme, I know what you mean."

"I know you and Edward are waiting, I hope I didn't make you feel uncomfortable? Did I?

I shook my head and smiled.

"As a mother figure for Edward I just hope he is careful with your mortal-self."

"He is Esme" I smiled at her, I knew my smile was no where near as warm as hers, but I went over and hugged her. "don't feel that anything you would say would hurt me. I know you are honest and always have our best interests at heart." She would be the closest thing I would have to a mother soon.

"the others give Edward such a hard time about not being.. um, well, intimate with you, or anyone for that matter. I just know that, and you are so precious him."

"Do they bug him about it, really they talk about it?" I was starting to feel a touch embarrassed again.

"I think they all think of him as their older brother, and in many ways he is. He's more mature and has been the most level headed and controlled within this lifestyle than all of us besides Carlisle. They all just had just gotten use to him being on his own and not thinking of him as sexual, sentimental, or romantic. And then you… and it all started." She smiled and laughed a little, I think thoughts of the boys bugging Edward was going through her mind.

"But Bella, I know Edward is old fashioned and even if things weren't complicated with your mortality, I believe he would have married young and waited to be intimate with his wife."

I smiled at her. It was so nice to hear her speak of the "kids." I would be one of them one day. I would be one of this kids they would talk about in the cafeteria, that are adopted but dating my stepbrother. Esme would be my mom, no one could replace Renee, but in this situation there was a runner-up, and I was happy it was her.

" I agree, I think both of us are old souls. I don't know if I would have married young, but now that this is my path, I couldn't be happier. He is all I ever want. And I have always made decisions and stuck to them and have always been happy with that. I think about my decision to move to Forks, my mom didn't ask to me to leave, I made the decision, and as much as I didn't love it here, I came, and I stuck it out. Even if I hadn't met Edward, I would still be here. I am so happy to be here you know? I love it here, and I love Edward and I am happy we are getting married."

Esme smilled agan " I know sweety."

"did I hear something about a wedding??" I heard my own mothers voice coming from the door way.


	2. Chapter 2

"Mom

07/07/2008 19:00:00

"Mom!" I yelled. I ran out of the kitchen and saw Edward there holding her bags with Alice and Jasper right behind her.

"What are you doing here? You weren't supposed to be here until Friday." I was in utter shock to see my mother. She looked great, relaxed, tanned and in a lime green cardigan and jeans.

"mom, you look so good"

She came over and hugged me, she picked me up a little and kissed my ear and whispered "I love you Bella. I am so happy for you" she kissed my forehead and pulled away.

"are you surprised sweety?"

"who was all in on this?" I turned to look at Edward, Alice and back at Esme. They all smiled.

"it was Esme's idea, and Alice was in on it. They just let me in last weekend, when they told me I had to get you out of the house today."

My mom went over and introduced herself in person to Esme. They had been talking on the phone so much over the last month that my mom went right up to her and hugged her.

"Thank you so much for having me, and for everything Esme." My mom was genuinely ecstatic.

"your home is amazing. This is not the Forks I ever knew." I loved my mothers crazy honesty. I never really had to worry about what she thought… it was right out there.

Esme laughed, "thank you Renee. Would you like a tour? Or are you tired, or I have some snacks and wine in the fridge for you."

"how about some wine and then a tour?" Renee turned to smile at Edward and I who were holding each other.

"thank you so much Alice, Edward, Jasper, Esme" I turned to her, and smiled.

She led Renee into the kitchen where she got out a few wine glasses and opened the fridge. I turned back to Edward, I looked up at him and his soft eyes smiled down at me. I reached on my tippy toes and kissed him.

"thank you, you are the best person I have ever met." he cracked his half grin at me. I let go and went over to alice. I kissed her check and embraced her. "you have done so much for me, and I don't deserve it, but I love you, my sister, I love you"

She eeked and loved when I showed her affection, it was rare, but I do love and appreciate all that she does, even if it is over the top.

"she has been reaking with excitement all week with this surprise" jasper informed us.

"tell me about it, she has b een thinking about every possibly scenario for today" Edward said.

"Thank you jasper for, for everything" he kept us all calm and had truly become like a brother to me. I know his gift is to control our feelings, but Jasper has calmed me the most when he has spoken to me. In Pheonix last year, when he told me how he knew Edward before and couldn't imagine living with Edward if he had ever lost me. I knew then his love was for his brother, but he genuinely has our best interests at heart always.

Rosalie and Emmett came through the front door.

"is she here?" Emmett asked.

We all turned to them. "She is in the kitchen with Esme." Alice gittered.

"if shes wasnt you just gave it away" Rosalie rebutted nudging her elbow into his side.

"Oops, sorry guys." He headed for the kitchen. I swear if he wasn't a vampire he would be like one of the jocks in Arizona who said thinks like 'awesome' and excited with the next weekends keg party.

"Are you ready for tonight Bells?" Rosalie asked. I was confused. What did she mean, were they in on the experimenting Edward and I were doing, or was she talking about something else? Either way, she seemed to becoming warmer and warmer with me as days past. She had accepted that I was leading my life and making my choices, it wasn't her place to judge or tell others how to lead their lives. I needed to make my own mistakes and learn from them.

"She doesn't know about that yet, but lets join the mums in the kitchen." Alice exclaimed with excitement to distract me from the topic at hand.

"What is going on now?" I looked back at Edward to see him smirking shrugging his shoulders.

" would you girls like a glass of wine" Esme asked us as we walked into the kitchen. The mothers were sitting on barstools at the island in the kitchen. The guys stayed in the living room, looking as though they needed to discuss something.

" I hope you don't mind Renee."

"Oh no, I was hoping you would offer. They are all graduated and I am pretty sure that's when I learned what a few glasses of wine felt like."

I was pretty sure my mom knew what a few drinks felt like before high school ended, but I wasn't going to call her out on it. She was trying to seem polite and proper for Esme.

"Sure" alice said. "What kind did you get mom?" turning to Esme.

"There are a few in the fridge from your food sampling for the wedding and then there are some reds in the over on the counter."

"great, which one do you want Bella?"

I shrugged, " I don't know, what do you think I'll like?"

"probably a white, reds are more of an acquired taste." I wasn't sure if her answer was a reference to blood, but my mom was in the room, so I wasn't going to over think it.

"You can choose for both of us Alice" Rosalie spoke up.

"Hi darling, Im Renee, Bella's mom" my mom spoke to Rosalie.

"I am so sorry I didn't introduce myself. Welcome"

Alice passed us our glasses and Esme spoke, "I would like to toast our lovely bride, she has brightened up my son, and your brother, and all of our lives. We really love you Bella. Enjoy these next few days and the rest of your lives together. Cheers." She smiled and I looked so softly an me and my mom. Renee put her arm around me and kissed my head. I turned to Edward and he was leaned in talking quite intently with Jasper and Emmett. I didn't want to spoil this moment with my mom, but what were they talking about that looked so intense?


	3. EPOV

EPOV

08/07/2008 10:27:00

EPOV

"you go in the house, I am going out back to get Emmett to check your car"

Bella retorted with something about new cars not needing check ups.

I assured her that they did. I needed to see Emmett right away. I knew Carlisle was at the hospital, putting in extra time to not feel too guilty for taking the day of the wedding off. Jasper was with Alice picking up Renee, and it left me with Emmett. I was grateful that he was out of the house so we could speak freely without being overheard.

"Emmett, I need to talk to you" I think he could tell from my approach that I looked serious.

"what's up?" I heard a few of Rose's thoughts and knew she was there as well.

I got right to it, "Emeris is here. I heard his thoughts today, he was talking right to me, to my mind, but was at least a mile away from me. I couldn't see him, he only spoke to my mind for a few seconds and then left. Bella thought that I was taking a moment to compose myself during an intimate moment, but I stopped kissing her in the meadow because I heard Emeris."

"I don't know Emeris? I have heard his name when we have discussed the Volturri, but I don't believe he is a powerful member of their coven" Emmett whispered quickly. He and Rose both knew that we were not discussing the Volturri and they game towards me so we could speak quietly.

"he's not, he said he was strictly a messenger, but I think we should take any contact from them as a threat."

"What did he say, or think?" Rose finally spoke.

I told them what he said;_ 'do not react, do not act any differently continue to kiss your bride. I am here to warn you that you have one month until you must make your mortal beloved mortal no longer. I mean no harm, I am a mere messenger. There is part of our coven that believes you deserve a warning before a check-up on your commitments made earlier this year, and another part that does not. I understand this is sooner then you imagined. Enjoy your sweet Bella, but there will be check ups, and I recommend not going against your former pledge.'_

I paused with the most peculiar part _"_After that my mind when blank, it was as though I did not remember it for another 10 minutes."

"So you and Bella were, um, being intimate when you heard this voice? But you kept on going"

"Yes, and I didn't really recollect what happened until we left the meadow. But it was as clear in my mind like a memory. It must be a disorienting power of some sort. It was beneficial because Bella nor I caught on. I don't want to disrupt our wedding with more immortality talk." I rubbed my forehead. _Things have just been going too well. _

"Sometimes I black out when I'm with Rose too brother, don't worry, but I thought you two were 'waiting'?" Emmett made quotations with his hands. He was making light of this, but his eyes turned back to me intently.

"we weren't doing that, and we are waiting, but there are other intimacies to be had before the finale." Rose smiled at me and glared at Emmett.

"Your missing the point, this contact is interesting and wary to me. Why are they making contact, why are they warning me? and why are they making it blatantly known there is a divide with regards to respect for our family. I do appreciate the warning and his thoughts were harmless and warm but... I didn't want to rush Bella into this, maybe we would be married for a few months, let her err us, experience normal newlywed things, and change her when she feels ready. No sooner. Now I feel like her humanity has an expiration date."

"Edward, what you are forgetting, regardless of yours, and my protests, this is what Bella wants. She is marrying you on Saturday, you both know what you are getting yourselves into."

"I know Rose, but…" I trailed off as she interrupted me.

"I do also see intrigue into why Emeris would come to your mind, but the delayed reaction is peculiar. Again though, he was definitely giving you the respect that the Volturri should be giving you. He did not have to be forthcoming with the divide within his coven." She trailed off with her thought.

"Exactly my point. My other dilemma is that Bella and I have made a promise no to keep secrets, but we also said as a family to not talk about the Volturri and our pact until after the wedding."

I didn't know what to do, I wanted to enter this marriage with a clean slate, keeping up to my pacts and promises, but I all I really want it to protect her.

"Edward, are you forgetting the inevitable? Do you need a reality check here?" Emmett interrupted my thoughts

"What do you mean?"

"Bella's change is inevitable, she will be one of us. I think sometimes you are the only one that hasn't accepted that yet." He blew me away with his bluntness and truth.

I hadn't accepted it. It was more so for me that we weren't talking about the Volturri until after the wedding. I hated the thought of putting Bella through the tough years of early vampire-hood. I hated that she would miss out on so much. But I had to admit to myself that I loved the idea of forever with her. Despite everything she would lose, I could try to make up for some of those lost experiences.

Alice's car pulled down the drive way pulling in behind where I had parked Bella's new car.

"I better go. Stay out here for a few minutes, I don't want Renee to be overwhelmed with all of us. Thank you both for listening. Please think about what we should do."

I slowly jogged over to greet the car's arrival. I hoped so much that this would be a surprise for Bella. She needed her mother here, and I couldn't wait to see her expression of Renee's early arrival.

Alice stopped and she got out of the car, I opened Renee's door for her. I hadn't seen her since our trip to Florida, but I had spoken to her on the phone. Her response to our engagement was unexpectedly supportive.

"Hi Renee, how was your flight?" I smiled as I opened her door.

"It was great, we had a delayed layover in Dallas. I feel terrible Alice and Jasper were at the airport so long waiting for me." she opened her arms to embrace me. "How is she doing?" she asked me in my ear.

"She's wonderful" I smiled at my future mother-in-law…. She was wonderful. Everything about her was amazing. I thought for a second about how amazing she had been through all of the wedding planning and formalities. I couldn't wait to give her the human experiences she wanted over the next month. How quickly would this month pass?

"Ill get your bags, she's inside with Esme"

"Renee, you don't know how excited she is going to be" Alice exclaimed.

"Alice, can you help me with something quickly with the trunk."

I rounded behind the car, as jasper climbed out of the back seat and started walking with Renee towards the house.

Alice met me behind the car. "what is it?"

"did you see anyone coming? A visitor? perhaps from Italy?"

"no, nothing, why, I have been thinking about seeing your wedding and honeymoon for safety. All looks good. Why?"

"Keep everything to plan for Bella tonight, Ill tell you later, lets get in the house"

but what should I do? I would like the option to know. I despise it when Bella makes decisions like this without me.

Jasper – are you sure he was there? Could you feel or smell his presense? Did alice see anything.


	4. EPOV part 2

Bella and the girls get tipsy

27/07/2008 15:54:00

I filled jasper in briefly, as the women were in the kitchen and I did not want to seem suspicious.

I went upstairs to my bedroom to think without what felt like 40 other minds going through mine. I went to the new bureau in my closet filled with Bella's new clothes. This room reaked of her scent. It was magical to me. I reached to the top of the bureau to grab a small box that held our wedding bands. Bella and I went to a store in Seattle to pick them out. She was shy, but happy while choosing one for me. it was platinum and titanium blended together, so naturally it was silver in color, and flawless. Bella loved that it was a soft precious metal, combined with the strongest steel they had. She thought it represented me well. I didn't tell Bella, but since we got our bands, I played with mine sliding it on and off my finger. It was comfortable and perfect. Once bella finally slid it on my the third finger on my left hand I knew it would never come off.

I lay on what would soon become mine and my wife's bed, while still playing with my ring. My wife… my wife… I liked that more then I think she knows. She was the most important thing in the world to me… and I didn't know what to do when it came to her, it tortured me. In most cases I am over protective and make the wrong decisions for her. But I love her, and she knows that my mistakes always come from a place of love. Another thing I was working on was not making decisions for her. As a (married ) couple we would be making decisions together. I should be talking to her at that very moment, but she seemed to actually enjoying having "girl" time. I didnt know if I should tell her about what had happened to me. My predicament was partially to do with our pact for no Vulturi talk until after the wedding and partially to protect Bella and I from this until after our wedding day. I wanted Bella to enjoy these days with our families, to relax and take in the full human experience of a wedding…. Not that I knew much about adult human experiences, but I couldn't wait. I did not want to burden her, and wanted to enjoy this day as well, as it was my request...

My largest problem with not telling her is that I did not want to enter into this union with a lie in the back of my mind. Even with Charlise's words of wisdom, would I be able to enjoy the next few days knowing that I have 30 days until my wife loses her soul? I sat up from lying on our bed and went to return my ring to its box. I slid it into the little pouch and quickly glanced at Bells petite little band; only appropriate that it was an eternity band. I smiled thinking of Bella rolling her eyes when the salesman said eternity band. He walked away and let her try it on and decide. " I think eternity has a whole other meaning to us, don't you?" she giggled into my arm while trying it on. It matched her engagement ring surprisingly well and I would have bought her 40 of them to see the look on her face when she looked up at me from the ring with a radiating smile and rosy cheeks. She thought she was set on a plain thin band, but this changed her mind. I couldn't wait for her to wear it. I closed my eyes and put the bands back in their box on top of the bureau.

I decided to go for a run through the woods, I didn't need to hunt, but I wanted to get out of the house and let the girls have their privacy. I didn't ask, but Emmett and Jasper rose from the seats on the couch to follow behind me, partially in support, partially to get away from the giggling and upcoming present giving... knowing they were there was comforting. Much time passed before we stopped. Jasper was the first to speak.

"stop beating yourself up Edward, you need to relax. You knew this was coming, it is just real now. Your and Bella's relationship is going to be made official on Saturday. She knows what she is getting into, do you?"

I nodded and thought to myself. He was right, she did know this was what she wanted. I wanted to be married, and be with her in whatever way I could be.

"yes, of course" I finally spoke.

"well sometimes marriage is about sacrifice and compromise. I know you two will persevere through this, so stop beating your self up." He paused for a second. " I don't want to say this out loud, but I am thinking it, so I might as well… I think you should wait until after the wedding. Trust that bella is sure of her decision. When you say your vows, promise to give her the best experiences this life has to offer. All she wants is to be with you, I feel it every second I am with her. She wants to be in our form… you will be giving her what she wants. I know you want that too… And really Edward, you have to. The Vulturi is strict about their rules. You were the one who told her about you and us last year, and that put us all at risk. Somewhere inside of you, I think you knew what you were doing, so that you could be with her for eternity."

I did want her forever and I did want her to wear her rings for eternity, so was this possible, did I really want this somewhere deep inside of me?


	5. UPDATE!

**Hey all!!**

**Thanks for reading my story… I know it has been a while since I updated, I have been writing another story that I would love you to check out.**

**It is my continuation 8 years after breaking dawn. Nes and Jacob are the central characters, with Edward and Bella as supporting characters... They are getting into their own relationship when Nahuel ( the other half breed ) and his father come looking to claim Nessie as their own. It's a great story ( humble aren't I?), with action, adventure, love, and some hotness… rated M.**

**I have tried to add the link - but it's not allowing me to... so i guess you will have to get to it from my profile... sorry**

**/s/4542564/1/MakingaClaim**

**I hope you enjoy it; I would love your feedback, good or bad!**

**I will get back to this story when I am finished the other one.**

**Thanks**

**S.**


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